I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
do you really not remember him getting up at like 4am with a leaf blower running through the house and telling people to "WAKE THE FUCK UPPP"
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Did you leave a blizzard on my porch last night? Or was that someone else giving out a metaphorical threat to me?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Randomize
