I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
She's the hottest girl I've ever seen before and didn't lose her virginity until she was 19. As men, I take it as failure on our part that hot 19 year old virgins still exist.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
As he was going down on me, I looked over his shoulder and said "ohh a Christian mingle commercial is on"
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
