so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
No. I was horrified and confused as to why you thought scrambled eggs and cottage cheese was a good mix
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
I wish I had a frozen water bed.
best. idea. ever.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
