marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
I'm eating go-gurt and drinking beer alone in the dark. This is why you shouldn't marry young.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
