Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He asked me if I remembered touching his police badge. awk.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize