This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
as a side note pls kill me
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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