The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
My favorite thing about your netflix account "suggestions for you" section: Russias Toughest Prisons is followed immediately by Strange Sex
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
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