hey, what are you doing? my roommates are gone for the night... you should come over ;)
nah, i'm gonna grab some food
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
it's so much work when my dad takes my car to get fixed, i had to take out the bottles, condoms, and my pipe
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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