I just named my vagina "The Boneyard"
More like "Chia Pet"
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Randomize
