He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
This kid is drunk.
I hope by "this kid" you mean yourself and not some child you have kidnapped and gotten wasted.
the only good thing about these hospital visits are the free pregnancy tests
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
Randomize
