Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
I don't remember much but I remember it was a unanimous decision that Santa was indeed real and Cait's stripping somehow proved this.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
