If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
either i blacked out mid-sex but remember the beginning and end, or he really only lasted a couple of minutes
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
what is it with giant penises always finding me
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
