I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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