I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
Not gonna lie, Wednesday was the perfect day to get laid off, all I've done since is watch the Simpsons marathon
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Randomize
