The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
I just deleted all the drug dealers from my phone, I guess this is growing up
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
he walked out as i was licking snow off of his car...
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I had sex with a mask on because I have the flu and I didn't want to get him sick.
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
Randomize
