Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
So I was putting on a condom and looked to my right to not make eye contact, she said did you just look at the American flag while putting that on. I said this one's for Team USA.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
