I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
