arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
found the other keg... it's in the tree
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
My pants are on and I'm pretty sure I tried to throw them at someone.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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