eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I'm not driving across town for three thrusts and an excuse
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
The day I let him eat me out will be the day that Donald trump is an honest, kind, non-bigoted member of society
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
I peed in my closet, which at the time looked like a sparkly bathroom...
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