Did I get blown in the bathroom? Yes. Did she throw up cranberry juice on my shorts? Yes. Did she finish the job? Yes.
If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
You are currently doing Harry Potter spells with the turkey-baster...
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
I CAN'T FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE WHO HAS A LISP. I JUST CAN'T.
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
