So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I got groped on the dancefloor by both grooms. I love gay weddings
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
YOU DON'T JUST GET TO CALL AND SAY YOU MIGHT BE DEAD, THEN NOT ANSWER!
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
