I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
what started as sign language exam pre-drinks to calm the nerves turned into me waving at a deaf woman for 20 minutes
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
If I had feelings, you would have hurt them.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize