just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I should probably file for unemployment. Sometime between last night and 4 AM I facebooked my manager the lyrics to hoe by ludacris. I'm just projecting ahead here.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
Cops came. Forced us to take the "Honk and We'll Drink" and the "Free Shots to Father's of Freshman Daughters" signs down. Before we did, someone honked and the cop said, "Aren't you gonna drink?" They then told us to move the party inside by ten.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Still dying that you shit outside
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
The annual Father's Day Wake and Bake has been canceled due to lack of hustle.
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize
