there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I sent him a bunch of texts telling him that his beard wasn't long enough yet so we couldn't fuck and to text me back in a few hours if it had.
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
What shade of lipstick clearly states, I'm only attending this wedding for the drugs and groomsmen?
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
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