you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
Whoever had sex in my bed during the party last night left a glow in the dark condom on my floor. I'm not even mad anymore, I just want to know who it is so they can tell me where to get one.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm sorry that I didn't get belligerently drunk and did not put my penis on your neck again
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Your ability to eat ass like its your job and yet turn down quinoa because it's "gross" is confusing.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
