I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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