I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
If you can't beat em, make them send you dick pics so they can't do anything stupid again.
Do you remember standing up at 3 in the morning and asking me if I was counting to six?
Randomize
