I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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