sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
y did u give ur computer a hand job?
am i at home because theres a dig starrrrring at me and i dont know wit plus i haer sirens. run fast.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Have you ever chased with pilaf before? Because dont.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
Woke up to a bottle of gatorade and a packet of saltine crackers tied to underwear hanging from my ceiling fan, along with 3 advil stuck to a piece of duct tape and a note saying "have a happy hangover- <3 you/me"
Drunk you is pretty stunner.
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
The horniest man in the world doesn't want sex as bad as I want pizza right now.
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
Giant stained glass jesus is judging my black pleather pants
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
