I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
Just threw up my room service breakfast with my fake eyelashes and pearls still on.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
Drunk in my hotel room, eating taco bell, and crying at Nicki Minaj's life story.
This is why I keep you in my life.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
