She said her name was "party"
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Vagic. Defined as a kind of magic one has over a girl's vagina. Used in a sentence... he's an accomplished vagician.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
I cannot pick him out of a line up. I remember he is blonde and his half flaccid dick looks like gonzo. So unless he pulls down his pants I don't know who he is
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