Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
