Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I understand Curling. That high.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
don't judge my taste in strippers
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
I swam, I rode a bicycle, I rode a horse, I danced. It was like a real life tampon advert.
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