I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
Yeah things got weird. You ate an entire bag of hotdog buns, then tried to catch a tree on fire with a candle.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
We attempted to microwave fifteen corndogs in the microwave and may have ruined it. Also there were fake mustaches on all of his appliances...he said he doesn't like drunk me.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
She just came home holding a fire hydrant. Yes a fire hydrant.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize
