I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
