I hate all girls vehemently.
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
when your friendship is based on dead babies and vodka there is a delicate balance. lesson learned. for what its worth, you are still my number one.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Then. Omg he showed me A CARD TRICK AFTER WE CAME
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
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