nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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