glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize
