Sponge bath it is.
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
I just conveyed my whole sex life to my mom over voicemail. Anddd, I'm hammered.
Top night. Top night.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
no it was not a "magical experience". After we dropped, he just sat there staring at my laptop going "apple makes beautiful things".
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
Randomize
