SEEEEXXX PLEASE
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
i called her out for picking her nose in public and he still wonders why i don't like her!
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
there are certain things about getting into a cab to go home at 630 am that make me feel like a prostitute.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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