Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
