I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
Apparently asking your girlfriends roommate for a hand job when u craw into the wrong bed after a bottle of rum is "bad form".
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
Yeah, great now I will be tampon girl
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
Randomize
