After he came all over my face, he proceeded to give me a high five. I can't even act upset because I always put myself in these situations. Did I mention D3: Mighty Ducks was playing in the background?
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize
