I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
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