Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Randomize
