I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
it was so cute when you were pretending to have willpower
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
maybe i get so drunk and make stupid mistakes cuz Subconsiously im preparing for my real world debut
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
