i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Randomize
