he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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