just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
Of course she said it wasn't that good, I don't bring my A game to pity fuck the thrice divorced girl from work
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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