hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
When did angry sex become our thing?
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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