New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Tried to make out with a statue, turns out it was a person.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
Randomize
