she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
U owe me five dollars for that paper towel you bet i wouldnt eat last night
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
so I definitely just chased tequila shots with a biscuit covered in sausage gravy
Thats fucking manlier than riding a bear into battle
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
Randomize
