Only in Montana can you find Septic Services that would display "Christian owned and operated" on the side of the truck. I'm oddly going to miss this state.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
was that the third sophomore you've banged this week?
third one in three days
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
