I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
It was kind of weird
What did your mom walk in?
She flung her tampon across the room.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
The girl with a dislocated arm just did an assisted keg stand. You will never have an excuse again.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
I didn't just get this from the chlamydia fairy.. You should probably get tested.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
Randomize
