I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
Im bringing wine tonight. Its from a merlot from nashville. i bet it'll taste like infidelity and teenage pregnancy.
Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
I don't feel bad about fucking old guys. That's what I want. It's what I likeeeeee.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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