Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I'm more of a "get high and take a bath" kinda guy.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
