I thought she had more class and brains than to date a complete numb-nut, drug addict, fuck up like him. People never cease to amaze me
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
His fridge was full of blocks of pepperjack cheese, and his pantry was stocked with huge jars of jellybeans. Even if I'd been drunk, I don't think I could've made that up.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I've figured out why I love winter sex. Because I make them leave the beanie on, and we all know I love a man in a beanie.
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
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