Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
I think i got beer on your cat.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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