I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
There r osticjed everywhere
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Stephen I'm in a lecture and the lecturer just said 'you can CHOOSE to put something in your mouth and swallow it" i'm the only one here who burst out laughing, this is awkward. Thought you'd appreciate it.
They'll never let you practice medicine.
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
I threw up in the bathtub last night like a decent human being.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
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