I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You know how I said I hit my head so hard I saw two of him and tried to make out with both? Well, it turns out he has a twin.
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
