I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
sarcasm needs its own font
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Profesor just winked at me. This class might be easier than I thought
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