i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
just blew him in the library. I am a classy dame
Can u pick up some lemons on the way? I have Tequila and a sore throat..I need them for both
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
