Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
She said our goal is to fuck in every bathroom at the reception which is at a country club. I will have the best wedding date ever! Were 4 for 4 in public.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Hopefully they won't bring up last year's Christmas party. I kind of predicted my great aunt's death...
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
Randomize
