just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I want to stick my p in your. b.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
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