i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
We will have to stop frequently for food, stretching legs, interesting things on the side of the road, and sex. So you might as well eat.
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
There was a lot of him and a little penis
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
