i feel like im doing the pre-walk of shame..like every car that drives by is like, ooooo look at that girl, in that itty bitty dress, yep shes about to get her skank on tonight...
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
They have beer where we have blood.
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
