great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
i feel like when youre not in my profile picture no one knows who i am.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
God I need to hump something, right now.
My conscious state is steadily increasing towards drunkenness.
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
