i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
you and him went to the park at 2am to "catch a pigeon" and ACTUALLY CAME BACK WITH A PIGEON
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
Randomize
