I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Fucked her within an inch of her life. Seriously. Don't choke bitches when they ask. Was way too drunk to be pulling that shit.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
He has a landing strip. I repeat he has shaven himself a landing strip. HELPPPP!
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
WHY DID YOU INVITE ALEX?!?
Because she offered to bring a keg.
And also because you fucked her in an alley last week and I'm trying to be a good friend.
Ran up to the dollar store to get batteries for my vibrator. Happy Valentines Day!
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