I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know, there is no convenient place for your beer when you are on shrooms taking a shower.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Thank you for helping a fellow gay friend today. You are sublime and deserve free tickets to the Ellen show
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
