Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
Just watched a middle age white woman scream WHY DON'T YOU GO FUCK YOURSELF, HELEN?! Helen seemed absolutely scandalized.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize