were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
He just showed up in boxer briefs and loafers with only his phone and condoms
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
