new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
bahahaha. this guy working at subway literally has someone's name tattooed on his arm, crossed out, and another name below it.
I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Randomize
