i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
Yeah but he's impersonating a gargoyle jumping off of everything. Including the walls.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
