We just got home. I got some malt liqour and a lottery ticket so I'm really doing a lot with my life right now
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
Mom kept me on a leash as a kid, did you know this?
When she went in the beer store I got to hold it.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
Randomize
