I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Is it something I'm going to want to hug you for or slap you for?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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