some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Shark Week may as well be Shark Weed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
Randomize
