I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
My clothes are covered in blood and I feel like I drank a gallon of elephant cum...it's safe to say I'm hungover
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
nothing like a long car ride to make you think of all the bad things you've done
dude the water is back on, you can stop shitting under the tree . . .
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