I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
Red Bull/Vodka? You bet I'm showing everyone my penis tonight.
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Just tried to dig out holes in my mattress for my boobs so I could be comfortable lying down on my stomach
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
Randomize
