Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
she "accidentally" hit me with her car, its almost as if she know im fucking her boyfriend.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Your vagina is awesome, like it needs to teach a class for other vaginas
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize