he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I woke up in my own vomit, a chunk of cactus in my thigh, shirtless, with jons mom poking at me with a glass of dr pepper and a talk about god....damn alcohol
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
Just spent the last of my lifesavings on (what i hope is enough of) alcohol. Hello summer.
If I knew losing weight would mean this many fucking creepers I would've just stayed fat.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I'm having a staring contest with a raccoon.
Where the hell are you
He's winning.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
come find me. Outside the bar we were just in waving my syringe in the air
I danced with a french guy who licked the sweat off my neck and poured a drink on me. Not gonna lie, that shit was refreshing
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
Randomize
